The Life of a Yogi
If the first four weeks between these modules flew by, that was NOTHING compared to the last two weeks. It seems like I just blinked, and suddenly the second module is only ten days away! I went from thinking, “Ah, I’ve got four weeks to finish reading The Atma-Bodha; I’m totally fine,” to realizing, “The next two weeks are jam-packed full of STUFF; when am I going to finish those papers?!”
I know it will all happen, though – I’m not terribly concerned. The positive side of all this momentum is that seems to be building both with the passage of time is also within my personal practice; it feels more natural all the time. I don’t really see myself stopping these practices when they are no longer part of some assigned homework plan… They have just become a part of my regular routine; I can’t imagine skipping them (especially because on days that I use a fault, particularly with asana, I always feel like, “How did I ever live like this…?” at the end of the day)!
I’m really looking forward to coming back together with the other trainees. Although the last two weeks went quickly, I also feel like I sort of started to lose my focus because it’s been so long since we were all together. I can’t wait to feel that sense of community again – the lack of which has really been the hardest part for me on this journey. Sure, we all try to keep each others’ spirits up in our LOAY facebook group, and that is quite helpful, but it’s just not the same as being together in person – all moving and breathing and visualizing together, progressing together in every way. Maybe that sounds a little corny, but the powerful memories of the last module are really what keep me going when things get tough!
I’m discovering that a lot of old habits of mine are starting to fall by the wayside – in particular, my tendency to live in extremes: living a very disciplined life for a little while (practicing with vigor, eating right, etc.), and then going totally crazy (neglecting my practice, staying up too late, eating junk food) for a period of a few days. Of course old habits die hard, but I’m convinced that having to do specific asana, pranayama, and meditation every day is exactly what has started to shift my daily life in the direction of more consistent sattva – the precise routine gives me something to come back to (without having to think about it), and also helps me judge myself less when I do miss a practice.
Perhaps that was the problem in the first place – the reaction to what was happening just amplified the effects. It’s amazing the tricks the mind can play on us, without our even knowing!