Inter-Module Weeks 5 &6: Momentum

The Life of a Yogi 

          If the first four weeks between these modules flew by, that was NOTHING compared to the last two weeks. It seems like I just blinked, and suddenly the second module is only ten days away! I went from thinking, “Ah, I’ve got four weeks to finish reading The Atma-Bodha; I’m totally fine,” to realizing, “The next two weeks are jam-packed full of STUFF; when am I going to finish those papers?!”

          I know it will all happen, though – I’m not terribly concerned. The positive side of all this momentum is that seems to be building both with the passage of time is also within my personal practice; it feels more natural all the time. I don’t really see myself stopping these practices when they are no longer part of some assigned homework plan… They have just become a part of my regular routine; I can’t imagine skipping them (especially because on days that I use a fault, particularly with asana, I always feel like, “How did I ever live like this…?” at the end of the day)!

          I’m really looking forward to coming back together with the other trainees. Although the last two weeks went quickly, I also feel like I sort of started to lose my focus because it’s been so long since we were all together. I can’t wait to feel that sense of community again – the lack of which has really been the hardest part for me on this journey. Sure, we all try to keep each others’ spirits up in our LOAY facebook group, and that is quite helpful, but it’s just not the same as being together in person – all moving and breathing and visualizing together, progressing together in every way. Maybe that sounds a little corny, but the powerful memories of the last module are really what keep me going when things get tough!

          I’m discovering that a lot of old habits of mine are starting to fall by the wayside – in particular, my tendency to live in extremes: living a very disciplined life for a little while (practicing with vigor, eating right, etc.), and then going totally crazy (neglecting my practice, staying up too late, eating junk food) for a period of a few days. Of course old habits die hard, but I’m convinced that having to do specific asana, pranayama, and meditation every day is exactly what has started to shift my daily life in the direction of more consistent sattva – the precise routine gives me something to come back to (without having to think about it), and also helps me judge myself less when I do miss a practice.

Perhaps that was the problem in the first place – the reaction to what was happening just amplified the effects. It’s amazing the tricks the mind can play on us, without our even knowing!

~Danielle

Inter-Module Weeks 3 &4: Obstacles

The Life of a Yogi 

          Two more weeks gone! It’s really hard to believe how fast the time is going. Now, it’s sort of weird to imagine that there was ever a time where I didn’t get up early in the morning to practice.

          Week three started out strong – I woke up Monday morning and had one of the most delightful practices. I realized that I was finally starting to get used to the routine, and I actually felt strong and open in my body, and clear in my mind. Practicing in the morning now is really no different than any other time of day (it helps that I invested in a little mini-heater for my room where I practice, so I don’t feel as cold and stiff at 5 AM as I would normally… I highly recommend this to any of my trainee friends who are reading!).

          Anyway, I was feeling so great that day that I decided to walk to train station to get to work, and then when I was about a block away from the train I stepped off a curb strangely and twisted my ankle. In the past, my reaction to bodily injuries of any kind was usually along the lines of a major freak-out. As a former student in a dance conservatory, I guess that was understandable; every time I felt something tweak, I would immediately assume my career (and pretty much my life) was over.

I think it speaks volumes about the power of these practices that I was able to just sit for a moment and say, with almost unbelievable calmness, “OK. This just happened. I’m not really sure what the damage is, but no matter what, it probably won’t last forever. Let’s just get up and see how that goes.”

          That, to me, is really the beauty of all of this. Yes, it’s still hard work, and yes, a lot of the time it’s also hard to even find the time to do it all – but for me I’ve been learning to live so much more in the moment, simply because I have to take everything one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time).

          And then of course these shenanigans with the twisted ankle just reinforced that idea – take it as it comes, and breathe through everything. I had to take few days off from asana completely, but then by the fourth consecutive day of not even doing a sun salutation, I was going a little bit crazy. The first day back to the practice I had to skip a few postures, which somehow just felt wrong to me (I guess from the sequence being so trained into my muscle memory), but it still took me almost 90 minutes to finish because I had to do everything soooo slowly and mindfully. It was definitely necessary, though.

          These last two weeks, for me, have been about learning to make do with what you have before you. It’s becoming much easier to see that everything just sort of is – none of it is really good or bad (it’s all our own projections), and to assign those labels automatically is something worth questioning.

          Sending love and fortitude to all my trainee friends (and anybody else) who may be struggling, stressed, or under pressure right now… It’s a new week – a new chance to take everything as it comes!

Jaya Ganesha, Jaya Ganesha,

Jaya Ganesha Pahimaam;

Sri Ganesha, Sri Ganesha,

Sri Ganesha Rakshamaam…

~Danielle