Day Six: Flux

The Life of a Yogi

          Another day gone… This morning I could hardly believe it was the beginning of day six, and even though the morning seems like a really long time ago, I’m still having trouble grasping the fact that there are only two days left of the training. It makes me think of what Sri Dharma says about the Supreme Self: “No notions of time…” and all of that. But then again, I’m pretty sure the fact that I have no notion of time right now is more related to exhaustion than enlightenment.

          I was really tired this morning for some reason – not too sore or anything, just a general fatigue. I was a little agitated at myself, because I had really wanted to be totally alert for pranayama/dhyana and discourse with Sri Dharma (this is only the third time we’ve had him for discourse this module, so I wanted to absorb as much as possible). Even though I was tired most of the morning, I stopped being so serious and agitated at myself once Baxter started barking at Sri Dharma while he was demonstrating lion pose; it was hilarious and SO adorable.

          We had another small group teaching session after discourse (the last one of those is tomorrow, and I’ll be teaching), followed by Master Sadhana – with Yoshio today. Both of those were really fun; Yoshio’s class is just so full of love, and I’m a big fan of his sequencing and general style.

          After lunch we had a lecture with Eric on yogic scripture, which was really interesting. I started becoming more fascinated with scripture while I was reading the Atmabodha in between modules, so I appreciated the clarification he offered on some subjects, and his recommendations for further reading. I already have a bunch of books about yoga at home, and I feel like all I’m going to want to do once I go home is sit in my room and read!

          Then we had a session with Andrew regarding teaching Dharma Raja Yoga Basics, which is a course that concerns itself with the last three limbs of yoga – dharana, dhyana, and samadhi. It was cool to have a structural outline for teaching a class without asana, because that’s something I’m really interested in doing in the near future. We had Andrew for the rest of the evening as well – Maha Shakti and Yoga Nidra. The Maha Shakti was really nice; I ended up practicing near most of my small group members, so I felt really safe and supported throughout the class. That’s been one of the coolest things about this program – developing relationships with my group and a lot of the other trainees as well. I think that’s one of the things that feels different this module, actually: we are all just really comfortable with each other now, so it feels like home even more so than last time.

          Unfortunately I fell asleep during Yoga Nidra. I was CONVINCED that I wouldn’t, because I had stayed awake through the savasana at the end of Maha Shakti… But then I made the mistake of letting my attention wander just a little bit at one point, and I was so tired today that that was all it took… I was asleep before I even knew it. Oh well, I’ll have another chance at it tomorrow with Sri Dharma!

          Tonight I think it’s going to be straight to bed – there’s not enough time left to waste any of it being tired!

~Danielle

Day Five: Clarity

The Life of a Yogi

          Nothing like a little kirtan to get you energetically charged for the last three days of teacher training. I think the actual kirtan session was a little shorter this module, but it was so vibrant that it totally didn’t matter. I’m buzzing, as I’ve become accustomed to feeling after chanting in such an awesome group of people.

          Today we started with sun salutations, pranayama, and dhyana with Andrew (who was my mentor last module, and whom I greatly miss this time around). I really appreciated the whole morning – his instructions were so clear, using just enough words and always taking his time. That’s something that I have trouble with in my everyday life: remembering to take my time with things. I realized this morning that starting to just change that might help me become more mindful and compassionate, and really live the teachings.

          Then we had the review of the Dharma III series with Sri Dharma himself (most of the pictures below are from that – Yoshio and Melissa demonstrated for all of us beautifully). That session ran almost an hour overtime, but I don’t think anybody was upset by this; Sri Dharma showed us so many fun (sometimes crazy) variations for use in our personal practices that I kind of felt like a little kid at Christmas.

          We had a short session of chanting with Adam (stellar), followed by Master Sadhana – the last one with Sri Dharma for this training. I found it less challenging than yesterday’s practice, but the noon class is never really easy… It almost gets harder as your practice progresses, because to do all the advanced variations that Sri Dharma offers is just completely exhausting (I don’t even do all of them yet and I have a hard time tackling that practice some days). Anyway, it was a beautiful practice, and savasana was glorious.

          After lunch we finished up with assisting and adjusting, which is sort of a hard session, but not in the way you might expect. It’s difficult because all the trainees are so good at all the asanas, it’s hard for any of them to act like beginners, or do the poses badly on purpose (so that the person “teaching” actually has something to adjust). I guess that’s why we have the internship process where we have to practice teaching – because the actual situation of teaching a room full of people who are unfamiliar with the series is impossible to imitate in these modules.

          We had another small group teaching session, followed by Maha Shakti with Adam, which were both great. I really love all my small group members, and it’s been super cool to see how they’ve progressed since the last module. Adam’s class was pretty challenging, but by the evenings I just get to the point where I’m too exhausted for it to make a difference whether it’s hard or easy. The best I can do by the night practice is to try and stay present.

          Although I still adore asana, I feel like I’m finally starting to connect with the other limbs as well, which is a really awesome step for me! Everything is just sort of coming together, and I’m starting to discover a lot about myself, particularly the nature of my ego and the habits of my mind. But at the same time, I’m starting to be more compassionate towards myself too, instead of berating myself for things that are beyond my control (like my mind wandering away in meditation). It’s a cool thing to witness… And also to begin discovering my Self as the eternal witness.

~Danielle

Yoshio & Melissa demo for Sri Dharma.

Just before the kirtan…

Day Four: Presence

The Life of a Yogi

          Today I feel like I found my groove again. I almost wish today could be the first day all over again! I felt like I finally became truly receptive again, and I learned more than I would ever expect to learn in just one day.

          We started the day with pranayama and dhyana with Adam. I always look forward to sessions with Adam because I know we’ll start with really awesome chanting… And I was not disappointed this morning; we did a chant that I have only heard once or twice before, and then it was stuck in my head all day long. The second session was a review of some of the required reading from between the modules – the Gheranda Samhita mainly, but Adam also read from a book by Swami Sivananda, which was great; it really inspired me for the day.

          We then had our second small group teaching session, which was quite lovely, although I had expected it to be somewhat grueling (first practice of the day, the thought of noon class looming over us, etc.). I’m starting to feel like Dharma III will be an accessible practice for me to do every day after this module, whereas a few days ago I was pretty overwhelmed by that idea. The practice was beautiful; the trainee from our group that taught really set up a safe, sattvic environment, and by the end of the practice I was so calm.

          I was pretty ready, physically and mentally, for Master Sadhana, but then about ten minutes into the asanas, my arms were basically ready to collapse beneath me. I got a second wind and felt excellent by the end of the class, for which I was grateful, but I still felt like it was the hardest Master Sadhana of the training thus far. Lunch came and went quickly; I ventured outside to search for some pineapple (to get rid of some of the inflammation in my body), and it was snowing!

          By the time the first afternoon session began, it was snowing sideways… The wind must have been crazy! You sort of lose track with what’s going on outside, though, during these intensives. It’s impossible to remain concerned with things other than the action you are engaged in – it’s just too much for the brain and the body to cope with if you’re existing someplace else simultaneously. In my experience, anyway.

          After lunch we had a session on assisting and adjusting for Dharma III, and then another small group teaching session, which was equally lovely as the morning – except that we were all so much more exhausted and starting to lose steam… But that was in no way related to the teacher, more the general feeling of the room – by the third asana practice of the day, things get a little hard, ya know?

          To finish the day we had Maha Shakti and Psychic Development with Sri Dharma, which I felt like I just floated through – I didn’t even think very much about it (a pretty amazing thing, for me), but I just found myself totally present in my body and in the room… Surrendered to the task at hand. During savasana I stayed completely alert the entire time, and I started to feel some energy opening up in different areas along my spine – it was pretty cool to experience.

          Four days done… Now it’s come to the point where I don’t want it to end.

~Danielle

Sri Dharma plays with Baxter (Swami Dogananda)

Day Three: Cleanse

The Life of a Yogi

          “Your practice is like an antidote for the poison.” ~Sri Dharma Mittra

          Unfortunately, the aforementioned poison doesn’t just disappear when you practice – it has this way of coming back up, so you have to deal with it before it leaves you… which is actually kind of cool in its own way, but it’s not necessarily pleasant to deal with in the moment.

          I didn’t expect to hit the wall of utter exhaustion this early on. But by the end of the day today, several of us were pretty delirious; everything was incredibly funny for some reason. Then again, I also realized that when I’m here at Dharma Yoga, I generally smile a lot more – it’s like I’ve given myself permission to be joyful, and I take full advantage of it while I’m here.

          We began the day with pranayama, dhyana, and spiritual discourse with Sri Dharma. It was wonderful, as usual, but I had a feeling it was going to be a hard day when I kept drifting in and out of sleep in my meditation… After the discourse, we picked up with the breakdown of Dharma III, and then had Master Sadhana, followed by lunch. Master Sadhana felt pretty great today – even though I’m really sore, my body was sort of aching to get moving by noon.

          After lunch we finished the breakdown of Dharma III, and then we had our first small group teaching session for this series. I had been wondering how on earth we would fit Dharma III into a sixty-minute block (I’ve never taken a Dharma III class shorter than ninety minutes), but by the end I was unbelievably thankful that it was a short practice. Any longer and my legs would probably have started giving out underneath me.

          We finished the evening with Maha Shakti, and by that point I was just so exhausted that I was having a hard time separating my Self from my body and my mind’s chatterings. A few of the poses made me want to cry (by the third dhanurasana I thought I might actually die), but we made it through together, and closed the night with Yoga Nidra. I was in and out of sleep during Yoga Nidra, but I can see it getting better – I realize it much sooner now if I’m no longer following Sri Dharma’s instructions and have drifted off someplace else. It actually helped that some people around me were snoring, and I was a little chilly – it helped me to remain awake.

          It feels like we’re going a lot deeper, a lot faster this time. I feel sort of how I felt on day five of the last module, and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad… I guess in reality it’s neither, and I’m free to choose my reaction (much easier to step back and see that, now that the day is over). And as one of my dance teachers told me once, “Exhaustion is where the most interesting discoveries happen.”

~Danielle

More shots of Yoshio & Melissa’s gorgeous demonstrations.